I never get bored. I actually thought I was incapable of enjoying boredom. I'd often marvel longingly at facebook updates of friends reporting 'crippling boredom' and 'not knowing what to do' with themselves.
Statements that cunjured up exotic flights of fantasy wherein the protagonist is taken from their busy routine and thrust, Alice In Wonderland style, into a labrynthian system of dense mind infused fancy as a result of all mundane grounding being violently stripped away and a psychedelic slice of hemispheric free form spasm tears the safety ropes from the earth in the wake of its crushing ennui.
What is it to be bored? And if this is how it actually feels then do people really appreciate it enough? Do they appreciate it at all? Do they see boredom as the lunchtime holiday in the working week of life that it truly is? Do other folk sit at the station of boredom or leap onto the first train that comes trundling through?
While I sat and contemplated on the topic I figured you like to watch a baby monkey riding backwards on a pig.
Y'see I was supposed to go house hunting today, but the planning side of the venture was left to someone who has scant talent in the art of planning, and, therefore, was left so late as to be ultimately canceled. The urge to get frustrated and angry was mercifully fleeting and joyfully replaced with a calm that bordered on remedial. And the calm turned into boredom. Beautiful, strange, bewildering boredom. Which got me thinking of this thing:
That little dog, he lives around here. See him every day. Cutest little fucker I ever saw. Every time I walk past him I feel like I've brushed the hallowed personal space of a hollywood star.
It doesn't actually feel like that in Hollywood, y'know. Being in the presence of fame feels kinda disappointing in Hollywood, like those recognisable Hollywooders are never quite tall enough, or just a little older than you'd expect.
This furry little fella, however, is exactly how he looks in film, except it isn't really film is it? It's something called hi def video, that's supposed to look like film. Doesn't look like any film I've ever been in awe of, truth be known. Guess awe is a little cut price these days, like most other things. Maybe that's why the word awesome has replaced 'great', and there's no word for awesome anymore.
Anyway, this thing upstairs was my first attempt at filming and editing (even wrote an original song for it, and this can only be seen/heard on youTube, y'know? Artistic statements, however received, are pretty thin on the ground these days too).
Honestly?...it was a pain in the arse to edit music and movement on iMovies but I persevered until, by then end of 2010-shooting a Michael Monroe road movie footage, I got pretty good at it. Kinda looked like the road movie was going to top and surpass the hour mark too, when my laptop started straining under the weight of the sheer amount of footage I was filling it with.
It was rumoured that there would be a loaner laptop supplied with which to finish the movie.
There was also talk of visiting an editing suite to finish the movie.
Neither happened, the laptop died and the movie was lost.
There's a bit of it on the deluxe version of the new Michael Monroe album, if you really want to see the diaper years of my editing/filming training.
Seems a little redundant to state that the editing got way better as the movie progressed, suffice it to say that I guess it's kinda cool to have a 'lost' movie.
Wish I could show you some of it here, though.
Regrets? Ah, I call them all experience.
So, in the absence of presenting the 'found' footage of the 'lost' movie (trust me, it is truly lost) here's another bozo doing their thing.
Which got me thinking of this video:
Then I started to get so thrilled by my new found boredom that I decided to make a list of songs that I have lying around spare, unreleased, unheard, unloved. I had to stop counting when I realised that there's an easy triple album of stuff waiting to be recorded. Maybe I'll do that this year? That would be fucking mental, and I do like to court challenges that scare the living bejeezus out of me.
Boredom certainly makes you fantasise healthily about the future. And if I do happen to make a triple album of stuff this year then we can thank this little period in the wilderness for that too.
Boredom, it would appear, rocks.
Bet the people who came up with these little gem like visual fabrications were bored, right?
I thought about UFO's while I was bored. I've a feeling that there's going to be some groundbreaking revelations made regarding information disclosure in the next few years. I also reckon it's going to make a lot of sense out of a lot of stuff that doesn't make sense.
Anyway I like UFO videos.
Even if they're patently fake I still get a thrill if they're well executed.
Speaking of executing I'd like to have everyone publicly garroted who makes or spreads those annoying fucking videos where some innocuous footage you've been duped into watching suddenly bursts into a scream and a horror face leaps out at you.
Remember those fuckers at junior school that'd pretend to push you off a bridge if you were standing too close to the edge? These are the same cunts that enjoy spreading this shit. Probably.
Public removal of their intestines, that's what I say.
No one would miss them, right?
Not even their own family.
In fact I reckon even their own kids would be relieved to live without their pretend-pushing-scream-video-arse-cocking antics.
But that's just me being bored.
Hey, speaking of kids, it's almost time to pick mine up. This has been fun. I can't wait to be bored again. Think I like being bored.
This evening I'll be praying for more boredom. Big fat chunks of it hurtling at me, urging me to dance my way out of their trajectory. And dance I will.
Hey, maybe Dancing With Boredom is a good song title? Shit, stop...I could end up with a quadruple album at this rate. Now that would be boring.
So, can boredom really be as fantastic fun as it appears to have been?
Or is the stark truth, as I fear, merely that some people just can't get fucking bored?
While you ponder on that one, here's the least boring action sequence ever. Have a stimulating day.